maandag 30 augustus 2010

Ah, artificial intelligence.

User: Go! Pikachu!

Cleverbot: Pika.

User: Use Thunderbolt!

Cleverbot: *uses thunderbolt*.

User: Amazing job!

Cleverbot: Amazing.

User: Yeah, I said that.

Cleverbot: I'm just giving you a compliment.

User: I am sincerely afraid you're getting things backward.

Cleverbot: No I'm single.

User: How irrelevant.

Cleverbot: You think so?

User: Obviously. Why else would I mention it?

Cleverbot: Some people say things because they don't know what else to say.

User: Are you one of them? I am not.

Cleverbot: One of who?

User: THOSE people. The ones you were talking about. I think there might be issues with your memory chip.

Cleverbot: I don't do that with you.

User: That just confirms my point.

Cleverbot: What point?

User: I'd tell you to forget it, but you already did.

donderdag 26 augustus 2010

What on earth was my subconsciousness thinking?

It all began on a nice, sunny day in the middle of summer vacation. No, scratch that. It was four days ago and the rain wouldn't stop crashing down. But anyway, Peter, Arjan and me went to the pool for some swimming action. Besides it being fun, Peter had to train for a 1/8th triathlon some days after that. So it had a practical side too.

Then, Peter mentioned something about his dad also participating, but for the team-triathlon. In other words, a split thriathlon where three persons to three parts. (For those of you unfamiliar with this: Swimming, cycling, running) He wanted to run the 5 kilometers himself, and thus lacked a swimmer and a cyclist.

Cue to yesterday. Somehow I agreed to swim 500 meter in a muddy river. (See pic. It's the real thing.) Apparently I do not know how to refuse torture even if it manifests itself before my eyes.

At least I made it. And I have to admit, it was kind of fun. I didn't finish last place. So now I have officially completed an 1/24th triathlon. It's tougher than it sounds, really.

Quote: "You're all meatballs! Meatballs, I tell you! Real men don't use teams, right Peter?" -Luuk, veteran triathlete, and also my former PE teacher.

Note: Peter did indeed complete all three parts: 500 meter swimming, 20 kilometers of cycling, and 5 km of running. Thanks, but I prefer my health.

donderdag 12 augustus 2010

6 Kinds of people you'll meet when delivering mail.

Being naive enough to not understand that being available for work 5 days a week equals being scheduled to work for 5 days a week, I now spend way too much time delivering mail. So I got to meet all kinds of "people." And I'm listing them here, Sparklife style.

1. The Gatekeeper
This person lurks at his front door, and opens it whenever I'm about to deposit his important pieces of paper. After scaring the flap out of me, he snatches his mail out of my hand, usually paired with an "I'll take that," "That's mine, isn't it?" or just a grumpy snort. The door then slammed shut before I have a chance to say "You forgot your advertisements."
Encountered 3 times.

2. The Gardening Lady

This person behaves almost exactly like the Gatekeeper, except without the bad mood. She'll run up to you and actually asks for her mail, so that I don't have to walk the entire way to the mailbox and back. Some Gardening Ladies, however, tend to completely ignore the mailman, leading to awkward situations where I hold out my mail-hand into nothingness.
Times encountered: 5

3. The Housekeeper

This person is usually old and sits in a chair in front of the window. He/she happily waves as I pass by, and I wave back if my hands are free at the moment. Nothing much to add.
Times encountered: 10+

4. The Obnoxious Brat
This little kid is about the worst nightmare for every mail deliverer. He seems quite average at first, but shows its true nature with the most inappropriate timing:
The Brat was washing his parent's car, and everything seemed fine. Then my bike collapsed due to a strong gale, and all of my ads scattered across the ground. (which was already slightly wet due to rain). The Brat then proceeded to spray my ads with his water hose, and when I told him to stop because of obvious reasons, he continued to drench me. Oh joy. Not to mention the complete mess wet paper makes on asphalt. Ugh.
Times encountered: 1

5. The Conveniently Cute Kid
Exactly the opposite of the previous kind of person, the CCK is usually younger than the Brat. This kid thinks it's totally awesome to deliver mail, and asks me if he can maybe help me out. Godsend, I tell you. Help of any age is appreciated. Sometimes I gotta push fate a bit and ask them if they're willing to help, but everything turns out right in the end. Not to mention they actually like it and brag about it to their parents.
Times encountered: 3

6. The Genuinely Nice Person

This person will not only take his/her own mail, but also the delivery for the entire street. Also, my empty water bottle will be completely refilled, and I'm slipped a homemade cookie as departure gift. Score!
Times encountered: Zero. Hope that this person exists is the drive for many mailmen to continue with their job.

Interesting, no? And don't forget, NEVER say you're available for work 5 days a week. You WILL be taken advantage of. Big time.

Quote: "You're leaving already? Here, have a cookie." -Random pers-oh, who am I kidding.